


At Least You're Here In Heart

by jasonthecheetah



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: But mostly fluff, Fluff, Internet Friends, Internet Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, angst maybe, josh is an artist because i can, joshler - Freeform, this is so bad but i don't want to get rid of it so here have a terrible unfinished fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-08-02 22:20:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16313723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasonthecheetah/pseuds/jasonthecheetah
Summary: Tyler is the owner of a small Tumblr blog where he posts poems, stories, and occasional reviews/writing advice. One day, he gets a message from a user named Josh who claims to be a huge fan of his.





	1. Chapter 1

Tyler smiled as he read over his poem for the last time. He had finally created something that he could be proud of:

"I wish to be new,  
So remake me.

Mold me.  
Shape me.  
Change me.

It’s what I asked for isn’t it?  
So you will do just that.

But you don’t mold me,  
You break me.

I want to be broken,  
So shake me.

Shake me until I drop to the floor,  
Then take me.

And remake me."

He clicked post, then watched as his computer lagged for a moment before the poem was added to his blog. Sighing, he closed his laptop and lay on his bed in silence, staring at the ceiling and trying to find hidden pictures in the bumps. It was something he did a lot when he was little. Every time he would find something new. Every little blob of paint told some kind of story.

Why do I even do this? He thought to himself. It’s not like anyone reads them. Is my work even worth sharing? Is it selfish to feel proud of it? Am I thinking too highly of myself? What if everyone thinks I’m stuck up? Am I? Am I so self absorbed that I would actually post something as if only my work is worthy of being read? As if the work of others aren’t? What kind of person am I? Why do I do this why do I do this why do I do this. 

This was one of the many times when the boy would completely lose himself in his thoughts. He would begin to doubt himself, spiraling farther and farther down until his thoughts were a whole lot darker than what they had started as. The horrible thing was that he was aware of all of this, and god, he hated himself for it.

He needed to stop this. Looking for a way to distract himself, Tyler opened up his computer once again, going back onto Tumblr, which wasn’t much of a surprise. He pretty much lived on that website. 

Tyler scrolled through his dashboard, pausing for a bit longer at an LGBT related post that ended up really catching his eye. The artist that owned the blog had drawn a whole bunch of characters, each one matching the color scheme of one of the flags. All Tyler could think about was how beautiful the artwork was. He moved his finger across the trackpad and hovered over the reblog button.

No, he couldn’t do that. His parents knew about his blog and read almost everything that he posted there. What would they, perfect christians, say if they found an LGBT related post on their son´s blog? Of course, Tyler knew that they would always be supportive if he ever decided to come out to them. In fact, he was sure they already suspected he wasn’t straight. But he wanted to be the one to do it, not his stupid Tumblr blog. He eventually decided just to leave a like and an encouraging comment instead. 

A pop of blue appeared in the corner of his eye. Tyler looked over to see that someone had sent him a message. That was weird. The boy couldn’t think of anyone that would want to message him. None of his friends used Tumblr and he wasn’t really talking to anyone on the platform.

Holding his breath in anticipation, he clicked the messages icon, tensing up as his slow internet connection forced him to stare impatiently at a spinning wheel on his computer screen.

He had gotten a message from someone named spookyjim.


	2. Chapter 2

Tyler nervously clicked on the message and watched as the new conversation popped up in the corner of his screen.

spookyjim - Hey there! You probably don’t know who I am but I’m a huge fan of yours. I just wanted to message you to say how much I love your blog! Your poems and stories are amazing and I really hope you keep on posting! Loved Remake Me btw ~

What was this? Did Tyler seriously have fans? Now that he thought about it, spookyjim had always been the most active person on his blog, always reblogging and liking his posts, but Tyler had never really thought about it before.

This was incredible! Smiling softly to himself, Tyler clicked the reply box and began to type out his response.

addictwithapen - Me? Have fans? Thank you so much! I didn’t even know there was anyone who actually cared about my blog besides myself. This means a lot! 

spookyjim - OH MY GOSH  
spookyjim - YOU ACTUALLY RESPONDED  
spookyjim - AND SO QUICKLY TOO  
spookyjim - SORRY I’M A MESS

addictwithapen - Don’t worry about it :)  
addictwithapen - So what kind of stuff do you post?

spookyjim - Mostly art stuff. It’s all trash though.

addictwithapen - I doubt that

spookyjim - I mean you can look at it if you want just be prepared for disappointment

addictwithapen - Maybe I should…

spookyjim - Wait no no no no no no I changed my mind don’t

addictwithapen - Too late. Here I goooooooooooooooooooooo

Tyler laughed softly under his breath as he clicked on spookyjim’s profile photo, taking him to his blog. He had been told to prepare for disappointment, which baffled Tyler as he scrolled through his follower’s blog. The art was absolutely incredible, ranging from silly webcomics to beautiful finished paintings. 

He made sure to like every post as he scrolled down, completely in awe. After going far enough down to the point where he was getting dangerously close to stalker level, Tyler scrolled up and clicked the follow button before he finally dragged himself of of spookyjim’s blog and migrated back over to the chat. But there were already more messages waiting for him.

spookyjim - Did you just like one of my posts  
spookyjim - Seriously?  
spookyjim - Dude how far are you gonna go????  
spookyjim - YOU FOLLOWED ME WOW OK  
spookyjim - THANK YOU SO MUCH

Tyler smiled. Never would he expect to be able to make someone this happy just by following them, or doing anything at all really. All his life he had been a disappointment to most of the people that knew him. His family read his poems and stories but didn’t really care for them. He wrote songs but never dared to share them with anybody he knew. They were so personal that he would be crushed if anyone disliked them. The only thing people seemed to praise him for was his place on the basketball team, but having recently graduated only a month ago, that pride would fade away completely after a few months. He wasn’t even planning on going to college.

So why did this person like him?

Tyler was about to respond when yet another message from spookyjim popped up on his screen:

spookyjim - Hey, I don’t mean to be creepy or anything, but what’s your name? I’ve always been curious.

Should he tell him? Tyler contemplated for a moment before deciding that there wasn’t really any harm in doing so. He didn’t have to say his last name, and there were millions of Tylers out there anyway.

addictwithapen - My name’s Tyler! What’s yours (if you don’t mind me asking)?

spookyjim - I’m Josh!

addictwithapen - Hi Josh :)

spookyjim - Hi Tyler :)


	3. Chapter 3

It had only been four days since he had started talking to Josh, but Tyler already felt as if he had met his soulmate.  
There was just something about him. Tyler couldn’t put a finger on what exactly this thing was, but it made Josh feel welcoming, as if talking to him was Tyler finally coming home after a long day. His conversations were the fireplace that Tyler could warm his hands by after spending all day living out his much colder reality. They didn’t even have to talk about much. Most of their conversations were about bands that they enjoyed or what they were doing that day, but it was relaxing. Tyler realized that it felt nice to talk about nothing every once and awhile. Even just knowing that the other was watching the conversation through a screen of their own was somewhat comforting.  
But Tyler was curious.  
For once, he didn’t feel like talking about nothing. He wanted to learn more about Josh. What were his other hobbies? Passions? Goals? Dreams? Tyler longed to become closer with him. Josh seemed like such an interesting person and it would be incredible if they could get to know each other better and become greater friends.  
Nervously, Tyler opened up Tumblr once again, finding his way to him and Josh’s chat. His heart raced as he typed his message into the box. What if Josh rejected him? What if he became scared of Tyler and stopped talking to him? There were so many ways that this could go wrong. So, horribly wrong.  
Anxiously holding his breath, Tyler pressed enter to send his message.

addictwithapen - Hey Josh. I know this sounds weird but… can I have your number?

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…”  
Tyler continued to mutter to himself under his breath. His hands started to get sweaty and he wiped them off on his jeans, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm his nerves. He couldn’t believe he just sent that.   
There was no way Josh would actually give him his number. Tyler sounded like one of those internet predators parents warned their children about. Crap, what if he was one? He had no idea how old Josh was. He seemed to be around Tyler’s age, maybe even a bit older, but he really had no idea.   
Tyler decided he would have to ask him at some point before they got too close.  
Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Fifteen.   
Tyler knew Josh was probably just out doing something else. Even so, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from worrying. This was a mistake. This was a mistake.  
Tyler saw something on the screen change from the corner of his eye. Josh had messaged back!

spookyjim - Of course man! (***) - *** - ****

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…”  
Who knew that two completely different emotions could have caused the same reaction from him. Tyler’s heart raced as he grabbed his phone and typed Josh’s number into his contacts. His finger hesitated over the call button before backing out and pressing the message option instead. Too happy to worry about what to say as he normally would, Tyler began typing out his message, smiling to himself the entire time.

Tyler - Hey Josh. It’s me! We can talk all the time now :)


	4. (a/n)

Hey guys! I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating this fic. Just know that I haven't forgotten! I've decided to try doing NaNoWriMo, so I unfortunately won't really have any time to work on this story for a while. But after November is over I'm hoping to dive right back into it. I have a lot of things planned for this fic and I'm super excited for when I get to come back to it!

Oh, and thank you so much to everyone who's commented, bookmarked, and left kudos on this fic! I didn't really expect anyone to read this, much less like it as much as you guys do, and it honestly means the world to me!

 

~ Stay hydrated ~ 


	5. Chapter 5

There was no need to wait for a response, as the “typing” bubble popped up on Tylers screen only seconds after he had hit send. Tyler still couldn’t believe someone liked him enough to want to reply that quickly.

 

Josh \- Ha, I guess we can!

Josh \- We’ll need contact photos. Do you mind if I send you a picture?

A picture of Josh?  Tyler’s heart skipped a beat at the thought as he tried to imagine what his new friend might look like.

Tyler  \- Sure if you’re comfortable with it

 

Josh \- Mmk give me a second I have to find a good one 

 

Tyler’s text messages suggested a much more nonchalant and laid back person than the guy that was really behind the screen, as if his heart wasn’t beating a million miles an hour at the sight of Josh’s words (Tyler’s heart really liked messing with him, didn’t it). Maybe it was the fact that Tyler could think more about what he said before pressing send than he could in a regular conversation. Or maybe it was because the words themselves sounded much more confident without a voice than if Tyler had spoken them out loud. Regardless of the reason, Tyler was glad that he could at least sound more confident, even if that confidence wasn’t really there. _Fake it ‘till you make it_.

Only a few moments passed before an image popped up on their conversation.  _ Josh _ .

He had a floof of bright blue hair that fell just slightly over his forehead. The vibrant hair was coupled with a pair of soft, dark brown eyes that made it very apparent that Josh was a loving and caring person. Even his smile seemed to radiate through Tylers phone screen, transfering itself onto his own face. He was incredible.

Tyler \- Oh my gosh

Tyler \- You’re beautiful

Tyler \- Like a poem, but a person?? If that makes any sense,

Tyler \- Aah

Tyler \- Oh no

Tyler \- How do you delete texts

Tyler \- Asdfghjkl I’m so sorry

 

Josh \- No no no no please don’t be sorry

Josh \- That actually makes me really happy

Josh \- Thank you :)

 

Tyler let out the breath he had been holding in a long sigh. He was so afraid that Josh might stop talking to him after that. All he was doing was admiring Josh, but it had come off so weird and creepy that Tyler had winced at the sight of his words popping up on the screen

Tyler could feel his face heat up at the sight of the words that appeared only a few seconds later.

 

Josh \- Haha now it’s your turn

 

Blushing furiously, Tyler opened up his camera roll and started sifting through his many photos. He never took a whole lot of pictures of himself, so there wasn't very much to choose from, but he was still determined to find one in which he actually looked somewhat decent. But he couldn’t seem to choose one, no matter how many times his eyes scanned over the “Selfie” folder.

In a frantic attempt to give himself more time, Tyler tapped on a photo of Sonic the hedgehog, regretting everything as he sent it through. He hoped Josh would at least find it a little bit funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm completely failing NaNoWriMo so I decided to come back early :)


	6. Chapter 6

Josh - …  
Josh - The hell Tyler???

Oh no oh no oh no. What had he just done? Tyler felt like smashing himself into his bedroom walls with a running start sounded like a perfectly good idea at this point. He would have acted on this thought if it wasn’t for the laughing emoji Josh sent soon after, though Tyler still wasn't sure if Josh had sent it because he actually found Tyler funny or as a way to save himself from looking like a jerk. Probably some strange mixture of the two.

Tyler - Sorry  
Tyler - I’m stalling  
Tyler - Give me a second??

Josh - Haha sure

Tyler left the conversation and opened up his selfies once again. He couldn’t stare at the pictures forever; he knew he would have to choose one to send at some point, but he just looked so ugly compared to Josh. None of them were good enough.  
Two minutes passed, Tyler still just as indecisive as before. Taking a picture of himself right then was out of the question, as he was still in the clothes he slept in with bags under his eyes and an unwashed mess of hair. He had narrowed it down to a few photos he deemed not horrible, but having less options had made his decision even harder. Tyler had no idea why he was stressing so much over something as unimportant as this, but that was what he did best: turning small deals into enormous ones.  
He knew it was childish, but it was the best option he had-  
“Eenie meenie minie mo… catch a tiger by its toe, if he hollers let him go… my mom picks the very best one and you are...it!”  
Tyler’s finger landed on a photo he had taken of himself a few weeks ago. He was wearing cat ears that his younger sister Madison had given him as a joke, cat ears that he still had on top of his bedside table. He had to admit that he looked pretty ridiculous, but that was the entire point of the ears he supposed. Holding his breath, Tyler sent the photo, hoping that Josh wouldn’t find it stupid.

Josh - Oh my gosh  
Josh - You’re adorable XD  


Tyler - Ha, thanks!

A pause.

Tyler - You sure I’m not annoying you?

He had to ask the question. Tyler always worried that he was too clingy, too over attached. He feared that Josh would leave him just like everyone else had, for the same reasons everyone else had, leaving Tyler alone just like everyone else had. Just the thought of that happening made his stomach churn.

Josh - Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing that’s happened to me these past few weeks. Of course you don’t annoy me :(

Tyler- Huh  
Tyler - You’d be the first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to post another chapter (and this one's really short too so double sorry). Life's been kind of hecking me up and I wasn't exactly in a good enough headspace to work on any projects. Also this fic has so many reads? Like way more than I thought it would get?? Explain please?????????


	7. Chapter 7

Weeks had passed, and Tyler was still talking to Josh just as much as ever. He had assumed that Josh would get tired of texting him after a while, that their conversations would get shorter and shorter, less and less frequent, until they stopped talking eventually and Josh forgot all about him. Similar things happened with most of the friendships Tyler had tried to make online in the past, as well as with real-life friendships he had tried to keep alive despite distance. They all ended in the same way: a slow falling out. But not this one. Not Josh.

For some reason, Josh had never shown even the slightest sign of leaving. Tyler always woke up to good-morning texts from him, always fell asleep to good-night ones. It was as if Josh was thinking about Tyler as much as Tyler was thinking about him. But why? Tyler couldn’t think of a single reason why Josh would ever want to stick around, but he supposed it was just something he would have to accept and enjoy without questioning. 

Tyler looked out his bedroom window, watching the silence of his neighborhood’s empty street. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t quite remember if he had even left the house recently. Ever since graduation, Tyler had pretty much locked himself up in his room, too afraid to confront what his life was becoming now that he had refused to go to college. His parents had hoped that he would move on to get a degree, or at the very least try to do something with the scholarships he had gotten thanks to basketball. But Tyler wasn’t interested in any of that. What Tyler really wanted was a career in music. Though he wasn’t quite sure how he would ever make it happen, he was determined to get to that point. 

His parents had tried their best to be supportive, even though their concerns ended up shining through their willingness to have an open mind. Deep down, Tyler understood (and even partially agreed) with their worries. Creative fields like music and art were extremely difficult to make a living off of, seeing as the only way to make enough money would be some level of fame and success. However small that degree of fame might need to be, it was hard nonetheless, at least much harder than applying for a job that paid you at consistent rates per-hour. 

But what if Tyler was able to become successful? What if he did manage to build up a following? How incredible would it be to make a living off of the one thing he was most passionate about? The thought had always excited him.

Now that it was on his mind, Tyler began to realize that he hadn’t even mention his love for music once to Josh, nor had he really anywhere online. It seemed ironic, considering his dreams. Why did he feel the need to keep it a secret when it was something he so desprately wanted to share with the world?

This was stupid. So incredibly stupid. He had only ever posted his poems and stories. Why not his song lyrics? It was what he wanted to do most in the world, yet all he had done was make it harder for himself.

Frustrated, Tyler opened up Tumblr, paying no attention to the top of his dashboard as he created a post. Naming it “Some lyrics by me”, he began to type.

 

_ Down, we're going down, we're going down _

_ It takes a sound _

_ To break them down _

 

_ Have you ever heard the outside calling? _

_ Have you ever heard the trees singing their song? _

_ Have you ever tasted a ray of sun and have you ever held the moon's glow? _

 

_ Why do I feel scared in the morning? _

_ The sun's up and everybody's moving on _

_ Maybe we all feel alone even though we have our telephones _

 

_ We destroy a part of us every time we blink an eye _

_ And now it's time for all of us to know that we're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ It takes a sound _

_ To break them down _

 

_ Reality, conformity, still this fake faith and forgery _

_ All seem to be a major key to rhyme the day the day will seem to be _

_ A melting dream that we once had but now the dream is weak _

_ But now that we all see that we have fallen down _

_ We just might be alive and even though there's boundaries _

_ And why are you proud of me _

_ So we live and we die _

_ Fall to the fly, fly to the free _

_ Free cause I know I've seen the end of me _

_ So we need, need to know that we are blowing down to seize _

_ Our grounds and everybody here will sing a sound _

_ We once were lost but now we're found _

 

_ We destroy a part of us every time we blink an eye _

_ And now it's time for all of us to know that we're going down (down...) _

 

_ Have you ever tasted a ray of sun and have you ever held the moon's glow? _

_ Why do I feel scared in the morning? _

_ The sun's up and everybody's moving on _

_ We're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ It takes a sound _

_ To break them down _

 

_ We're going down _

_ We're going down _

_ It takes a sound _

_ To break them down _

 

_ Have you ever heard the outside calling? _

_ Have you ever heard the tree's singing their song? _

_ Have you ever tasted the ray of sun and have you ever held the moon's glow? _

 

Tyler nervously clicked post, letting our his held breath as the lyrics were added to his blog. He couldn’t help but feel like this was the start of something. He stared at the post for several minutes, hoping and wishing for the small audience he had to have some sort of reaction.

_ Ping! _

Two texts from Josh.

Excited to hear from his friend, Tyler opened up his phone and went to iMessage, smiling to himself as he read Josh’s texts.

 

Josh - Holy crap Tyler.

Josh - You wrote that?


End file.
